why, you sneaky, good-for-nothin'...

I love the fact that I can be a manipulative little so-and-so*. Today, Events Chick and I have cooked up a real plot between the two of us and I love how The Adults at work have fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

I knew getting embroiled in all that student politics would pay off. You can't beat me for twisting in this company.

Basically, Control Freak decided that she wanted to use the designer she used last time for the new events booklet. Again, she tried to cut me out of the chain entirely, which is quite a bold thing to do considering all publications/marketing collateral/branding really ought to go through me. Those are the rules. It gives me great pains that this manager just cannot get it into her thick skull that either she:

1. leaves design and print co-ordination to me (I mean, that is my flippin' JOB already!!!) or,
2. learns the brand inside and out (something she would never adequately do as she simply doesn't have any appreciation for attention to detail)

She fired off some emails to poor little Events Chick ordering her about this and that. Events Chick's lightbulb went "ping" in her head and she asked for 5 minutes with me. The Boss hated the last events booklet pioneered by Control Freak and rubbished it to me in a one-to-one only a few weeks ago when I lost my temper about being hopped over again on another project. WHAT IS THE POINT IN EMPLOYING ME IF CONTROL FREAK TAKES IT INTO HER OWN HANDS?!?! I mean, it isn't like I am even incompetent or anything. I am, actually, very good at my job! I am quick, reliable and consistent. I understand my company ethos, our inward and outward faces, the messages we are trying to convey. I practically speak in our house style (although I manage to contain this when blogging), and I could lecture (at length no less) on the visual brand. Simply put, I am the company brand and written style personified.

Control Freak managed to sneak her last events booklet out under my nose, blaming time constraints. She said she simply hadn't had time to get me involved. And it was just tosh. Well, as a manager, hadn't she ought to look at her time management skills? Pah.

So, not happening again. Events Chick sent me a carefully worded email, asking me where last year's copy was for basis, she would update and send back to me for "polishing" and could I give her a timescale for the cycle, would I prime the designer etc? This email was obviously dreamt up during our 5 minute chat. I wire in The Boss through a forward and say that I want to use Designer A because Designer N is nothing short of SHIT (he doesn't even have Max font!!!!!) and Designer A's last production with us was "a departure from previous collateral and a direction I think we would be wise to pursue in order to improve company credibility through finely-tuned output". Yeeeeaaaah, bullshit and guff - totally my bag, baby! Obviously, I didn't say "shit". I actually said "did our brand no favours". Guff, guff, guff... Anyway, critically, he agreed and replied to that effect, putting all design control in my snatchy little fingers. Give me that! Mine! My print baby!

I sent my (previous-meeting-planned) response to Events Chick: "blah blah blah, Designer A is ready, here is last year's copy for basis. You do x, I'll do y. Deadlines are a, b and c. That ok? Shout if you need anything else. Rgds." And I cc Control Freak in. I mean, she is Events Chick's manager...

And, see, this is the thing. Control Freak is stuck. She can't do anything now. Production (rightfully) comes under me, and this project is being run between me and Events Chick. There is a clearly-defined plan for who does what and how the chain sits together. She can't do anything because we have been proactive and actually made her life easier. She will hate that.

Ha, Control Freak, stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Monday rant over :) Oh, I missed having a blog!

(*Incidentally, Little So-and-So is the name of the baby dinosaur in the book Little So-and-So and the dinosaurs, a great little story that I used to read as a kid. I am not a dinosaur. It's just a nice "filler fact".)